Monday, March 30, 2009

MacRock Revue #1: Skateboards Optional

The joke of vodka fart in post was wery funny, comrade

Hey MACROCK is next weekend - Ima taking a listen to sumbitch of these bands, mosta I never heard of. I'm down in this post with that metal showcase on Friday night or whatever the kids are calling it these days:

-- Hard garage/new age outfit who cover Ms. Spears, Murder City Devils in between 'riginal ear-ripping 80'sish 'core and floaty instrumentals. Worth a trip to the Lucy Simms Boys and Girls Rec Center just to see if the merch table includes the 2005 split 7" they made with Daughter Of Ozzy. They've subtitled their act "Sonic Victimization Unit" uh so I'm guessing I should take along multiple pairs of ear plugs. Boat Day from 2004's Things To Do When You Should Be Dead Anyway courtesy Magic Bullet Record... you could start your night in worse places.

Inter Arma - In H-burg, necks and hair will gyre and gimble, peni will be poorly mimsy, pus heads into waiting borogrove mouths of brillig momes and slithery guitars will shred the slithy toves. Richmond has a toxic reason to raise their heads only slightly higher than they are now. '

'bout this time I'm expecting to be leaving the jernt for other "showcases" but here's my honest impressions of some of the other bands:

A Cosmonauts Ruin - Question: What are vodka farts? Answer: A cosmonaut's ruin. Har. Har. Uh. Make up your own, dudez it's funn. Comes now this edge o' abyss sci-fi-fantasy hardsplore. Oh yay. Uh, from Richmond - once and future home of The Prevaricators so its got some claim to metalcore umma I guess. To quoth a Myspace pal of theirs: "Those songs are just straight brute and smell of old spice that only the manliest of men can wear."

Music Hates You - They're from alternate reality Athens GA where Athens GA is actually Detroit and its '69. About the most metal of the bunch. They have two cuts up on their webbysite and while I'm not gonna rush to their table for T-shirts or anything, I imagine if I'm present I'll be banging my head like the rabid cocker spaniels this music was meant to torment.

The Devil and The Sea -- I would have named my band something more ludicrous like The Devil and The Sex or The Devil and the Cupcake but then I woulda missed the oh so not so subtle reference to the mash-up of black worship with wayfaring chanteys. Haul that line, raise the sale and kiss that demon's ass, drink some urine sorta thing going... "Monolith " curtsey of label Acerbic Noise .

Black Tusk - isn't it weeeird how when you get closer and closer to the headliner in a "metal showcase" you get more hate, more disgust, more unfunny and that's not just from the bands? So chuggy it makes me shruggy. And I guess Black Tusk is easier to say than Black Rhino but the latter is an only slightly cooler name, is it not? Say something positive. Well. It sooths me heart that children such as this were never taken under Sally Struthers helpful wing and taught to mind their manners and shave their beards. That esteemed metal fan Brooklyn Vegan* helpfully links (how unmetal of them) to their SXSW mp3 - so like dig. Or don't.

*Yes, I know its not REALLy Brooklyn Vegan.

I am true Cosmonaut's ruin

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