Achtung! Achtung! Liedermachteren! Musiker!

Bitte reporten Sie to das Village Voice Information Ministry where Colonel R. Christgau vill administer your BUSHHATE purity test.

All bands found lacking in vigor and BUSHHATE will be pithily dissed as being "inconsequential", run down by Col Christgau on his bicycle, attend re-education camp with Uncircumcized Samson and summarily beat to death with Christgau's colostomy bag.

All bands who pass the BUSHATE Purity Test vill be judged "acceptable". Zey will issused stock phrases to repeaten Sie to der masses, a free date mit MOBY and Move-on.org T-shirts VICH YOU ALL VILL BE REQUIRED TO VEAR!!

Wir mussen defeaten Der Krusading Smirky McBushitler, ya wohl! Und Danke!

Really... W. has driven Christgau off the deep end. I actually thought I was reading a parody at first... we will keep tabs as this crackup occurs.